Churchy tales

I've touched on this before, but I'm at it again...
When Parker prays, we never know what we are going to get.

At the very least, big smiles are a given.

Or if you are me and apparently lack self control, you are trying your hardest to not fall over laughing and are quickly trying to wipe away your laugh tears upon the "Amen" before P-Man notices.
I know.
Such a bad example and completely irreverent but I really do try. Really.
& for the record, he doesn't know I am laughing at him.
It takes all my might, but I am discreet.

Often times he and Emmie fight over who is saying it, which results in a simultaneous outloud prayer offered by the two.
I am torn when this practice arises, because when trying to reinforce the correct way, the result is often much screaming by Emmie. & let's be honest.
That's not setting the best tone for the prayer.
Okay and I might be a bit lazy. But even moreso hungry. I just want to eat dinner without a ten minute delay due to technical difficulties & get these kids bathed & off to bed so that I can have five minutes to myself for the first time in the day. 
I like honesty.
So sometimes simultaneous prayers are just what we do at our house.
 Double the prayer = double the blessings, right?
That's what I try and tell myself anyways. :)

The thing is, Parker's prayers are so heartfelt and genuine.

 He's not trying to be funny or come up with peculiar things to pray about. They are straight from his heart and that intricate brain of his &

that's what makes them so good.

Here is an example of a small portion of his prayer the other night - not even one of his very funny ones but one that I quickly wrote down when he was finished...

Heavenly Father,

We're grateful for good moms and dads.

Grateful for good brothers and sisters.

Grateful for good cats and dogs.

Grateful we could eat our dinner fast so we could get treats.

Grateful that we don't play with matches.

Grateful that we don't die from bugs.

Grateful we didn't get kidnapped.

Grateful that we can play the Wii, but not on Sundays.

In the name of Jesus Christ,

Amen.

Grateful that we don't die from bugs or play with matches??

Where he comes up with some of this stuff, don't ask me.  

But I'm grateful that he is grateful. Especially about the matches.

What a guy.

& while I'm at it, here are few more classic church tales as of late to add to the history book of Parker H.....

P-Man has a hard time sitting still.

Okay so that might be a complete understatement.

He has a really, really, really hard time sitting still.

Like last Sunday night at a family party at my Dad's, Kylie and Steven challenged him to see how long he could sit still. He sat there, unmoving for several minutes.

Several minutes.

That is by far his record.

I was amazed.

And proud.

But I digress.

At church last Sunday, he was his usual wiggle-bug self pacing in front of me as we tried to listen to the speakers. I asked him to please sit and be reverent and he responded,

 "But Mo-om. I just have so much ENERGY in the day."

This answer struck me as funny.

Because I'm a witness to that truth firsthand.

How could I argue with that?

PB please....

Parker refuses to eat bread.

Except for peanut butter and honey sandwiches.

This doesn't work out so well for when the sacrament tray of bread comes around.

He's never taken it.

He's 4 1/2.

Today as it came around he asked, "Mom, do you think that we can let that Deacon know to let the other Deacons know that I only like my bread with peanut butter so that the next time they'll send mine with peanut butter?"

Hmmm. Never heard of that but maybe for kicks I will put in the request.

I wonder if it would it be inappropriate if I whipped out a jar of Jiffy during Sacrament meeting....?

When I try to explain to him that we take the sacrament to help us remember Jesus, he replies in a bored, "duh"-like tone,

"But Mo-om, I don't NEED to take the sacrament to remember Jesus.

I remember him everyday! I'm a smart kid, remember?"

& once again, how do I argue with that? 

Michelle on Ellen

Don't get all excited.

 I wasn't on Ellen.

Supermodel, CRAZY, Bachelor MICHELLE was on Ellen.

Just in case you didn't catch her...Here ya go!

I have to admit - I was a little sad to see her go. NOT because I wanted her to end up with B-Rad, but because I wanted to see her on the hometown date in good old Utah.

Awww well we can't have everything. 

 Brad made a good choice.

I knew he'd come through...

Chantal though - she's turning into the next nut. She needs to go!

& that beach date...! Seriously! Those are the moments that give our show a bad rap. It was plain embarrassing.

As for predictions...

 I think it's pretty obvious he's all about Emily... just not sure she's all about him...

what do you think?

Hometown date week is my fave....YAY for next Monday night!



From our cutest Valentines

HaPpY VaLenTiNeS DaY!

XOXO

Rewind

Being sick for weeks leading into Month #1 of 2011

+ (PLUS)

my 2 most-looked-forward-to shows of the year premiering in January

(American Idol + The Bachelor)

+

Finally giving in and reading Breaking Dawn

=ed very little time for blogging last month.

(except for a few posts on an obsessed-over show...publicly outting my patheticness...)

So sad, I know.

So... surprise surprise....I continue to play the catch up game.

Here is our oh-so-exciting January in a nutshell:

It's official.

Little P-Man started his CTR class in Primary.

This status awards one with the honored kelly-green CTR ring. He was very proud of his new bling.

Little Sis was happy for him and stood by in support.

& no she didn't sport her Jessie boots to church.

Although it wouldn't have been the worst fashion choice she's made...not by a longshot.

We combined b-day celebrations for my Dad and Chris. This method of birthday parties is becoming a necessity for both my side of the fam and Chris'. Otherwise we would spend every Sunday at a party. Love parties and love family but that would be no good. One (or 2) a month is plenty for us.
I made Chris Ali's lemon cake from Lemon Poppy Inc. It was quite delish if I do say so myself and I will definitely be making it again!

My Mom stopped by on her way to a nursing board meeting in Salt Lake. She gave Emmie her anticipated manicure and pedicures and also brought this amazing quilt she made for me.

When my brother passed away we found a rainbow of bright colored silk shirts filling his closet. He was the Vice President of a well known computer franchise here in UT (also known for their crazy & dare I say obnoxious commercials) and one of his signature marks was to sport these bold shirts with his designer suits. My Mom took all the shirts and has made us all quilts out of them. She made red, black and white ones for my fanatical UTE fan Dad and little brother with U of U insignia on the back.

Yes your eyes don't fool - mine is hot pink (& black & silver).

That's right. He was a confident man and proudly wore HOT PINK.

 They turned out beautiful and I cherish the sentimentality this blanket holds.

It will always be special to me.

Thanks Mom!

Parker learned about the human body.

Have a related question, and he will tell you it's function.

I love that he retains information so well.

 THIS little girl continues to drink what does a body good in excessive amounts...

DANIMALS!

She is a bit obsessed with them & since she doesn't drink milk, I let her drink away. I hoard them when they go on sale because that is the only way I'll buy them.

P-Man was able to officially start back up with full-blown playgroup this month. Doctors didn't want him going back until January after his (Sept) accident so it's been great to be with his buddies again. We feel so lucky to have so many wonderful kids his age right on our street. ( 2 were absent this day)

I went to another fabulous Favorite Things Party 2010. I walked away with lots of awesome goodies, ideas, tips, & recipes....all the while indulging on some fabulous food! Some of my faves included vintage dessert glasses with lots of recipes to go in them, homemade granola, homemade laundry detergent + recipe, CUTE homemade magnets, great eye makeup remover, fun websites to explore.... the list goes on. What a fun party! I was excited to be invited again this year.

And we ended the month much like we started it - SICK! We spent the last weekend of the month accompanied by much throw up and pretty remarkable fevers.

Does it ever end?!

I have never missed so much church in my life.

On a whimsical note, I finally found pillows for our charcoal gray couch in the basement. It's only taken me a year to find something I love and thankfully Chris gave me a Target gift card for Christmas that enabled me to purchase my yellow flower pillows.

Aren't they cute?

I don't even like yellow.

But I like these.

They make me happy.

Mormon mommy blogs

I ran into THIS article a few weeks back about a big city business woman who can't stop reading Mormon mommy blogs.

She admits,

 "I'm a young, feminist atheist who can't bake a cupcake. Why am I addicted to the shiny, happy lives of these women?".

I found the article to be pretty fascinating and thought ya'll might like it too! I definitely have my opinions on it and if I weren't so  tired and brain dead at the moment I would share them with you.:)
Darn, I know.
 HOWEV, if you have a minute, it's totally a worthwhile read (not so sure I can, in good conscience, recommend the comments though) and while I was there I found a few "Mormom Mommy blogs" that are fun as well.
Gotta love multitasking.

If only I had all day to spend reading them! :)

Happy reading & Happy Superbowl!

Anyone know whose playing? ;)

My totally awesome Bachelor analysis - 2 days late

This is for you, Meliss! ...& all you friends who indulge in this my most guilty pleasure.
Even all you closet Bachelor fans - I know you're out there.
Reveal yourselves immediately. :)

Here we go...

 So Monday night's episode wore. me. out.
Am I the only one?
All those womanly emotions -aka -tears and drama - drained me! No WONDER Brad was losing his patience (and mind) by Rose Ceremony night!

A few profound thoughts for my girls (& some good advice for Mr. Womack):

Dear Ashley S - see ya!
Wait. What?!
I thought you were cute and deserved more of a chance but B-Rad set you up against your own best friend and then tossed you to the curb.
Brutal. 
(Um hi - was that the lamest match off for that date? Why not Ali and an Ashley or one of the unknowns like Marissa? ( is that even a girl?))

Whatever. That date was painful. & awkward. And did I mention awkward? I'm sorry, girl.

Dear Dentist Ashley - You are lucky he kept you. You really need to work to redeem yourself after last week's shenanigans. Yep, I am still holding a grudge. For the record, as of right now, I'm still not back on board with you, Dentist Ashley.  

 Dear Chantal... whaa whaa whaa! All my hopes for you just kind of washed down the drain. You're shooting herself in the foot, Sweetheart with all the tears and ridiculous focus on the Emily date! Can't you see that it's draining for Braddy Boy to have to constantly console all these crying woman one after the next? Apparently not.
"Don't cry, Baby".... Gag me.


Michelle Michelle Michelle....I'm really a nice person so I hate to talk bad about you - but when I come across a really... ahem - *exceptional* human being I somehow feel justified letting go of some of the nice factor. But no worries, I will make this as *nice* as possible. :)...

 I'm sorry to be the one to have to break this to you Sweets, but your empty one liners are extremely unimpressive.
Do you think them up on the spot?
Just wondered.
In all niceness you definitely rock a bikini girlfriend, there is no denying that.
 So that is a fabulous thing you have going for yourself.
Especially since according to a man's scorebook that accounts for 85% of most men's draw to a woman... er at least when you're on the Bachelor. (& let's be real - even in real life it's not that far off...) Remember Jake? Yah, Jake. I thought B-Rad was a little bit smarter than him. But after saying,
"I am only keeping girls around that I can genuinely picture as my wife"
and then calling the dreaded word, "Michelle" during the rose ceremony, he really threw us all off!
What a serious trickster! 
I mean, he really caused an uproar.
Apparently he isn't envisioning many conversations in his future marriage? Hmmm. Just goes to show the baffling power of a bikini...

Dear Brad, I still have faith in you.
In case you didn't catch the memo - don't pick Michelle!

Dear Shawntel! SO I didn't love you at first. Let's be honest, the fact that you're a mortician is a little freaky, but you're genuine and real and can be a knockout when you want to be. & Brad is  comfortable around you.
Congratulations! I really have come to like you and
I think you may have moved up to the final four last Monday night. I am not kidding!
Just between us though,  I wouldn't blame Brad if he's creeped out by the thought of having a girlfriend/wife who spends her days cutting open and draining blood from corpses.... 
but on a positive note, if it doesn't work out with you and Brad, I think that you and that Dracula girl, Madison, might have tremendous success with some highly attractive men from the Cullen family.
Remember them?

Dear Jackie and Britt...it's just not fair! He needs to take the time to get to know you! You seem true and genuine and I'm cheering you on to see what could develop there. Hang in there, cute girls!


Dear Emily...It was SO mean - what the producers did to you! Sending you on a Nascar date when that was the career of your dead fiance?  MEAN! But Em, listen. B-Rad really digs you and you have tons of potential with him so don't go sabotaging it, (darlin') or he's going to have to choose another highway. I'm tellin' ya, he's YOURS if ya don't go messin' it all up. (But really, I'm afraid you're gonna mess it all up...)

Good luck next week, ladies! Huge thanks for making January such an entertaining month!
It just wouldn't be the same without the quality television you provide.

Sincerely,
(the good) Michelle